The pain has been growing for some time.
You’ve been holding onto this distress for so long with nowhere to put it. People always tell you...
“Don’t air your dirty laundry.”
“Don’t be so sensitive.”
“Don’t let everything get to you.”
So you live your life hidden away.
You're always protecting yourself, afraid of what others will think if you ever let your façade slip.
You’ve finally chosen to seek therapy, but you’re unsure how to begin.
You’ve spent so long avoiding your thoughts and feelings that you don’t have the words to express how you feel.
I can relate.
Growing up in Brooklyn as a closeted gay kid was rough. The messages around gay/queer identities were hostile or punchlines for lousy comedy.
Bullied, assaulted, and harassed, I've spent years hiding to protect myself from more harm. I felt the safest in the adventures I experienced through reading books and playing video games.
I began to behave in inauthentic ways...
I thought that’s how others wanted me to act—playing the role of the “gay best friend” who loves shopping and knows all the hip new spots.
I felt I was seen as a caricature rather than a unique individual.
I realized I wanted to know the real me.
Through therapy, honest conversations with friends and family, connecting with new people, and learning new experiences, I found that person.
I am still evolving and discovering parts of myself I didn't know existed.
I warmly embrace every part of myself:
- lifelong learner
- gaming geek
- savvy sensual
- playful dad-joker
I want the same for you.
Almost ready is ready enough!
Take the first step. Reach out today, and let's get started!
Publications
Santo, N. (2022b) Transcending pathological accommodation: An intersubjective self psychology approach to affirmative therapy. Psychoanalytic Social Work Journal. READ HERE
Santo, N. (2022a) Love in the time of COVID: Reflections on retaining attunement through a period of shared trauma. Psychoanalysis, Self, and Context. READ HERE
Santo, N. (2021) Reflections on the HIV/AIDS Crisis, COVID-19, and Resilience in Gay Men: Ghosts of Our Past, Demons of Our Present. In: Tosone C. (eds) Shared Trauma, Shared Resilience During a Pandemic. Essential Clinical Social Work Series. Springer, Cham READ HERE
